Things haven't been going well lately. As most of you know Chris went into the Coast Guard and everytime I talk about it I find myself at a loss for words. He graduated bootcamp in Dec. and came home for the holidays. He left again on Monday and I can't remember ever being this miserable. Who knows what's going to happen. I'm sick of trying to plan everything out ahead of time. It only makes me crazy in the end. He is now stationed in Sacramento, CA....thousands of miles away.
Today I cleaned a bunch of stuff out from when he and I lived together, bills mostly. I came across alot of graduation cards a pictures which made me sad. For those of you who are still in highschool, (if anyone even still reads this) don't be in such a rush. I don't know why I and everyone else think that things get so much better after highschool, because they don't. They get much, much worse. You get introduced to real life which to be completely honest, sucks. Enjoy all of the time you have left, because after this, you have a lifetime of more school, bills, broken relationships, and work to look forward to. If I could re-do the past 4 years of my life, I most definately would, and I would change every minute of it.
I have no idea why I'm even writing this. I guess because 1.) I haven't written in here in a long time and 2.) I haven't written in here because writing all the things down that have happened makes me realize how real they are. I'd rather run away from all of these things. Stupid? Yes.
This journal has always been a therapy for me. Writing all the things that I am thinking and feeling at that exact moment always made me feel better in the past. Now it only makes me feel worse.
This was completely pointless.